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If There’s Anything I Can Do: Comforting Your Friends After a Loss How many times do we find ourselves saying that very phrase as we are departing a funeral service or visitation of one who was so important in our lives when they were here? Particularly when we are close to the family for a long period of time, we fully intend to keep them an active part of our current lives and future activities. But we keep repeating that entirely useless phrase “If there’s anything I can do, please don’t hesitate to ask.” We do this because it’s almost like a reflex. We want to help, but we don’t know what to do, and at the time, those who are grieving cannot even process what they will need or want or when the time will come where they need something. Reality is that everyone who is going through grief always needs friends, in addition to family, to surround them and yet give them space to process their loss. They need to be with other people, but alone as well, so they can find a way to cry without others seeing them. Other people want to cry but can’t bring themselves to release their grief alone, but when they gather to speak of their loved one, then the tears will flow, and the healing can begin. One thing to make note of, when you lose a dear friend, is that their spouse or child will remember Chelsea & Cody Jones several dates of Owners the following year with great poignancy. The year is filled with “firsts,” the first birthday without mom or dad, the first birthday of the one who is no longer here, as well as the first Easter, Thanksgiving, Passover, and/ or Christmas without a key family member at the dinner table. Often when the loved one is a senior, they were the central figure who brought everyone together for these celebrations. After speaking with many of you about what has helped you on your healing journey, on my blog I share several ideas on how you can help a friend who has lost a loved one. For more visit

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